


I’m a Shotgun Lover and I Want It All

by bigcookie



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigcookie/pseuds/bigcookie
Summary: Christen Press is a shotgun lover, she wants it all. Her and Tobin have been denying their feelings and Christen has remained tentative in her relationship with the midfielder, but now she is tired of waiting. Christen and Tobin's relationship journey as they balance boldness with vulnerability and finally, make it real.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by Now, Now's new song SGL.

_You call me crying in the middle of the night…_

“Julie, I can’t do this anymore. I…I’ve tried and I don’t think I can do this anymore. Fuck.” Christen finally takes a breath. It’s shaky and she runs her hand through her hair just to have something to do. “I don’t know what to do.”

Julie lets out a deep breath on the other side of the line, “Honestly, Chris, I think you know exactly what you need to do and I think you’ve known for a while.” She pauses, trying to figure out how to tell her best friend what she and everyone else have known all along. “Chris, you’ve felt this way for a while now and it’s not fair for anyone involved, especially not for you. I’m just glad you’re finally admitting this to yourself. I mean, it’s about time.”

“She has a girlfriend,” Christen almost whispers, wiping the tears sneaking out from her eyes.

“Yeah, she does.” Julie says. “But, so do you and yet, you’re tearing yourself up over someone else and like I said, it’s not fair for anyone. I know she has a girlfriend and I know that sucks, Chris, but you can’t keep hoping to fall back in love with Vero when you’ve been in love with someone else for about a year now.”

Christen just keeps grabbing at her hair, hating herself for not loving the girl she has and hating herself even more for loving the girl she can’t have. “I know. You’re right, Jules. I just….what if…what if I break Vero’s heart for nothing, you know? What if I break my own heart for nothing?”

Julie just sighs, looking up. She didn’t anticipate getting this call from Christen on a Tuesday night. She thought the girl would break soon but at least wait to hash things out in person. “Chris…listen, you’ll be hurting Vero and yourself more if you keep holding on to something that has been over for months. And you can’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but if you keep pretending to be happy with someone you’re not in love with, it’ll kill you. I know you and I know you’re going to beat yourself up for hurting someone you care about, but I want you to be happy, really happy, and I know that you can’t be if you don’t make things right with Vero. Make things right and then see what happens. I love you, Chris, but I am tired of watching you hurt, like seriously fucking hurt, every time you’re around her and can’t be with her. So, I think it’s time. Well, past time actually, but you know, it’s time.”

“Yeah,” Christen replies. “You’re right. I’m sorry for waking you up and throwing all of this at you, but I needed someone to talk to and I knew Kelley would have probably straight up yelled at me, so I called you.” Finally sitting down on the edge of her bed, Christen looks down at bare feet digging into the carpet, “I know I should have done this sooner, I just thought it would go away or something. I wanted it to go away. Then I wouldn’t have to break up with one of the best people I know and sulk around hoping the girl I’m in love with wants me back. I’m sorry I haven’t been the best friend lately, Jules. I promise I’m going to be better, I just needed to get my shit together first and this is step one of that, I guess.”

Julie just smiles and chuckles for Christen to hear. “Chris, don’t apologize. Like I said, I just want to see you happy again. And I thought Kelley was going to literally slap you a few months ago, but I made Kelley and everyone else promise to let you figure this out on your own. I’m just glad you finally did.”

“Me too,” Christen says. “Me too.”

“Okay, well if you’re okay now, I might try to go back to sleep. And Christen?” Julie asks.

“Yeah?”

“I’m happy for you. I’m really happy that you’re going to try for this because I think it could be great. I think this could be it for you, you know. I think she be could it.”

“Me too,” Christen smiles softly. “I think she could be it, too. Bye, Jules, and thanks.”

With that Christen finally ends the call and lies back down on the bed. She’s exhausted, crying and having a breakdown in the middle of the night will do that to you, but she’s also relieved. She’s been holding this in for so long and now that she’s decided, she feels lighter. She knows it won’t last, at least it will go away while she’s breaking the heart of a girl who has been there for her and loved her for a while, but Julie was right, it’s not fair to keep hoping her feelings will go away. She knows they won’t. She knows they can’t.

The next night, Christen does it. She breaks up with Vero and ends a relationship that has helped her gain confidence, find security, and understand love again, but she does it anyway. She has to. It goes about as well as a break up can go. Christen cries before she even tells Vero, but Vero assures her she will always care for her and that if Christen really feels like this was the end, then she’s lucky she got as much time with the girl as she did. After Vero leaves, Christen orders take away, gets drunk, and wallows as she watches rom-coms, listens to sad music, and tries not to call the girl who’s probably still in Paris with her own girlfriend. 

 

Every time I hear her name my heart is breaking…

 

It’s been about three months since Christen broke things off with Vero and after spending the time with her family, Christen feels more centered, more balanced, and ready for the coming national team camp. She’s ready to see Tobin, she thinks. 

She’s not. 

She’s waiting on the airport with a few of the other players and she feels arms wrap her middle. Turning around, Christen finds Tobin latched to her and pressing her nose to neck before whispering, “I’ve missed you, Chris.”

Christen looks up and finds Julie watching her before responding, “I’ve missed you too, Heath.”  
The two break apart after a beat, but Christen notices the way Tobin lets her hand linger on Christen’s hip, giving one last squeeze before letting go and greeting the other girls. Fuck, Christen thinks, this is going to be harder than she originally thought. It also doesn’t help that she has yet to tell Tobin about her recent break up, but she figures when the time is right, she will let the other girl know.

That moment comes a lot sooner than she expected and it comes from Kelley, not Christen. The team had just wrapped up their evening meeting after training and Christen, Kelley, Alyssa, Alex, Allie, and Tobin were hanging out while doing recovery. Mainly catching up, the girls were just talking about their last few months while Christen got lost in her own thoughts. That was until, she heard Kelley say, “…Well, yeah, but since Christen is single now, she can probably go with us.”

Christen whips her head up. She glances over to Tobin and sees the girl looking between her and Kelley.

“What?” Tobin asks, clearing her throat and focusing on Kelley. 

Kelley looks at Christen, then Tobin, then back to Christen. “Oh, fuck. Sorry, Chris. I thought every in here knew.”

Christen just sighs and picks at the bed sheet she’s sitting on. “Uh, yeah. No worries, Kel. But yeah, Vero and I actually broke up a few months ago, so….” She doesn’t know how to continue. 

Tobin just stares at Christen. “Oh.” She murmurs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Well, obviously. But, I’m sorry.”

Christen raises her head and offers Tobin a small smile. “Thanks, but it’s ok. I’m sorry I haven’t told everyone yet, I just didn’t want to deal with everyone’s pity and stuff. I’m ok, though. I’m good, actually, so it’s good.” Christen hates that she’s rambling, but she really wanted to tell Tobin alone.

“Cool. That’s good.” Tobin answers, unsure what to think at the moment.

“Yeah, that’s great, Chris.” Alyssa intervenes. “I’m glad that you’re good.” Alyssa reaches over and squeezes Christen’s shoulder before steering the conversation back to more casual topics. 

It isn’t until later, when Christen in reading in her room when she hears a knock on her door. She opens it to see Tobin on the other side, shyly looking up at her and asking if she can come in.

“What’s up?” Christen asks. 

“Is Ash in Ali’s room?” Tobin asks back.

“Yeah,” Christen replies, moving back to her bed and sitting against the headboard while Tobin makes her way to the desk chair.  
“Cool.” Tobin replies, nervously moving around in the chair. “I just wanted to come talk to you and see how you’re doing. I know you probably didn’t want Kelley telling everyone about everything earlier, so I just, thought I would come see you.”

Christen just looks at Tobin, taking in the fidgeting girl in front of her as the other girl tries to calm herself and slouch back into the chair, nonchalantly. “Oh yeah. I mean, that wasn’t exactly how I planned on telling people, especially you,” she adds, “but, I guess it doesn’t matter much. I really am okay though.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Christen shakes her head. “It was time.”

“What happened?” Tobin asks. She wants to know. She wants to know if Christen was being braver than she is and if she did what she still can’t seem to do.

Christen sighs and leans further back into the headboard, adjusting the pillow behind her a little. “Honestly? I wasn’t in love with her anymore. I don’t think I have been for a while, actually. I just….I thought that it would pass and things would go back to how they were before, but I was really just scared of admitting that I wasn’t in it anymore.” Christen shifts her gaze between her hands and Tobin, who is still swiveling in the chair a bit and staring at the floor with her brow furrowed. “I knew it wasn’t fair for me to keep pretending that I was committed to our relationship when….” Christen pauses, trying to decide if she should say it, “well, when I am in love with someone else.”

Tobin looks up at hearing that. She finds Christen staring back at her, not attempting to look away at all. Tobin can feel her heart beat hasten. This is it. Except it can’t be, because she still has a girlfriend. A girlfriend in France, who isn’t Christen and who doesn’t know that Tobin is sitting here with her heart practically beating out of her chest at hearing the girl on the bed acknowledge what they have both been denying for the last few years. 

Fuck.

A few minutes pass before Tobin tries to speak. “Chris…” she whispers. “I…I want to say it too. I want to say it but I can’t.” She looks away from Christen and turns toward the window on the opposite wall. “I have a girlfriend. I have Shirley.”

Christen tries not to cry. She really does. She looks at the wall too. It seems like the safest option right now. “I know.” She whispers back. “I know.”

Before anything else can happen, Ashlyn returns. Immediately sensing the tension in the room, Ashlyn apologizes before making her way over to her bed. Tobin offers her goodbye and escapes the room, only to go back into her room and fall into Allie’s bed, silently crying while the blonde rubs her back and tries to offer comfort.

“Everything ok?” Ashlyn asks.

“No.” Christen replies while wiping her eyes. “But I think it will be.” She tries to offer Ash a smile and opens her book again, staring at the words, wishing Tobin was on the same page as her. Maybe soon, she thought. Maybe now that Tobin knew about her and Vero, the other girl could be brave too. Maybe soon, she could have it all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobin starts to process and things progress...slowly.

_Pick it up, baby, if I’m moving too slow…_

It was never slow, not for her, at least. She thinks maybe it was slower for Christen, but she’s always known. 

Except, now she’s the one stuck in her own indecision, her own fear. While Christen made the first move by breaking things off with Vero, arguably the right thing to do, Tobin feels like she can’t move at all. 

They had been silent about their feelings for so long, buried them beneath duty to their sport. Even though every glance across the room or trace of hands during high fives felt heavy and impossibly painful, Tobin got used to settling for those small moments – their moments. But now, Christen was tired of pretending, or lying, of not having more moments – real moments. And Tobin, well, Tobin had been pretending since she met Christen because she knew then too. 

Tobin knows she’s ready and she knows this has gone on too long, but she’s become comfortable with whatever amount of _less_ she could get. She knows with Christen things will be _more_ , she hopes they’ll be the _most_ , but she’s honestly afraid she’ll be overwhelmed by it all. She’s never had a relationship that could mean so much. She loves Shirley and their time together has helped Tobin grow in ways she didn’t know she could, but it’s always been Christen. She thinks Shirley might know that too. She thinks everyone might know it. God, she really doesn’t think she can do this anymore.

 

Suddenly a knock on the door wakes Tobin from her thoughts. It’s Alex telling Tobin to hurry up in the shower so two of them and Allie can go grab Kelley and head out for coffee. 

“I’m coming.” Tobin yells back, trying to hurry up and actually wash her body now that her daze was interrupted. 

During their coffee run, the other girls notice Tobin is a little more quiet than usual. Allie, of course, knows the girl had a rough night after returning from her talk with Christen. Then again, they all know Tobin has been struggling since hearing about Christen’s new relationship status. 

“You ok there, Tobs?” Alex asks as the midfielder plays with her half empty cup, picking at the edges of the sleeve anxiously. 

Tobin looks up and sees her friends all offering her small smiles. “Yeah,” she replies. “Sorry, just distracted, I guess.”

“We know,” Kelley says, shuffling in her chair nervously. She already accidentally told Tobin about Christen and Vero and she doesn’t want to overstep again, but she knows Tobin probably needs to talk through all of this. “Allie told us about last night. Well, not the specifics, just that you came back to the room upset.”

“What happened, Tobin?” Alex asks.

Tobin makes one final rip in her coffee sleeve before sighing and bringing her hands into her lap. “I went over to her and Ashlyn’s room to see if she was really ok. I was worried since you were the one to tell me about her and Vero,” Tobin states, motioning to Kelley, “and I knew she wasn’t going to make a big deal about it in the group, but I wanted to make sure she was ok. She told me was good and that it was time.”

The other girls hum their agreeance as Tobin continues. “She said she wasn’t in love with Vero anymore and…she, well…she said it wasn’t fair to keep pretending she was in love with Vero when she was in love with someone else….” Tobin whispers that last part, trying not to look up at her friends.

Alex reaches over and rubs Tobin’s back and starts, “Tobin, you have to have known she had feelings for you. That isn’t news to anyone. And she’s right, it was time.”

“Yeah, Harry. Don’t you think it’s time for you too?” Allie asks.

Finally, Tobin looks up and makes eye contact with the girls around her. She takes a deep breath before admitting, “Yeah. I do.”

Kelley coughs while choking on her coffee. “Wait, you do?” she asks a little too loudly.

“Yeah,” Tobin repeats. “I do. I was thinking in the shower this morning and I felt horrible last night after hearing her say it out loud, even it was not really her saying she was in love with me, but still. And, I don’t know. The way she looked at me. I…just…I couldn’t say it back because of everything, but God, I wanted to. I really want to tell her and be able to tell her as much as I possibly can, but I’ve been so scared. I don’t know,” Tobin takes a breath. “I guess I just finally realized the fear is worth it if I can be with her, you know.”

“Really, Kelley?” Allie asks, as the other girl is gently wiping at her eyes. 

“What?” Kelley responds. “That shit was beautiful. Plus, it’s about damn time these two figure their shit out. I’ve been watching both of them give each other heart-eyes and wistful stares across the room for the past year and a half. It’s infuriating.”

Alex ignores Allie and Kelley and asks Tobin, “So when are you going to tell her?”

Tobin snakes her hand through her hair. This is the hard part, she thinks. “Well, I have to actually break up with my girlfriend first and then go from there.”

“Oh, yeah.” The three other girls say at the same time. 

“Yeah,” Tobin echoes. “I wanted to do it in person and be an adult about everything, but I honestly don’t know if I can wait that long. Am I an asshole if I call her?”

“That’s tough, Har. You and Shirley have been together for a while and I don’t know if a call would be ok. Then again, you’d be basically lying to her for another week and a half and still not making any progress with Christen.” Allie tries to reason.

“I think it’s up to you, Tob.” Alex chimes in. “It’ll be a lot to fly to Paris just to break up with the girl and that might be more painful for her than you just calling her and being honest as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, I have no idea.” Kelley says.

Tobin goes back to messing with her now empty coffee cup, trying to think through everything her friends have said, minus Kelley’s lack of advice. She figures the sooner-the-better, especially because she doesn’t think she can make it through this camp now she knows how for sure how Christen feels.

Meanwhile, at the hotel, Christen is hanging out in Alyssa’s room along with Julie. 

“So she hasn’t said anything to you since last night?” Julie asks.

“No, but I know she went to get coffee with Allie, Alex, and Kelley earlier because Kell texted me. I know she needs time and all, but I’m hoping she doesn’t avoid me this camp. I don’t want to like force her into making a decision, but I guess I kind of do. I just want her to know how relieving it is to finally admit this _thing_ that has been consuming us for over a year. I mean, I feel good. I feel really good and I know she’s still technically with Shirley, but I feel, I don’t know, light. I feel like finally I can breathe knowing I’m being honest with myself. I just want her to feel the same, you know, then maybe we can figure it all out together.” Christen says.

Alyssa nods, knowing that trying to recreate feelings for Vero was weighing Christen down. “You did the right thing, and Tobin will come around. She always does things at her own pace, you know that, this is no different.”

“She’s also probably freaking out a little since you made this first move. I mean, it’s kind of a big deal to break up with Vero after you and Tobin have been in the same situation for over a year. It’ll be ok, though, C.” Julie states. “Just give her a little time and maybe not so much space, that way she can’t hide away from her feelings if you’re there giving her those sad puppy-dog eyes.” 

Christen just smiles. She didn’t think this would be as easy as it has been. Even though Tobin still has a girlfriend, she personally feels so much better knowing that she was brave enough to at least try and take the next step. She honestly thought Tobin would be the one to spontaneously do something crazy, but instead it was her. She’s always been a planner and needed structure, but her recent impulsivity has been pure freedom. She’s felt more herself in these past few days than she has in the last two years. Now, she just hopes that Tobin will join her in this next stage of honesty and heighten her feelings of exhilaration. 

The two don’t really have time to talk until after practice. Christen joins Tobin’s table at dinner and sits next to Julie and Kelley, right across from the midfielder. Tobin knew she couldn’t avoid Christen in any sense, considering their interactions were necessary on- and off-field. That knowledge doesn’t help though when Christen sits down at the table across from Tobin, freshly showered and wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, somehow looking just as beautiful as ever. _For fuck’s sake_ , Tobin thinks. _She’s unreal._

Christen smiles shyly at Tobin and slightly waves her hand as she picks up her fork. Tobin just throws her a nod in response, desperately trying not to scream out how in love she is. Tobin thinks she’s being subtle and concealing her inner dilemma, but Christen just smirks as she watches Tobin grip her knife a little bit tighter and furrow her brow as her if her chicken did something offensive. _Soon,_ Christen hopes, looking up to find Tobin muttering to herself as she stabs at her salad. 

That night Tobin asks Allie if she can have the room for a few hours to make the call. The blonde relents with a good luck and suddenly, Tobin is alone clutching her phone about to be more honest than she has in years. 

Tobin finds Shirley’s name and hits call. All she can think while she hears it ring is _fuck, fuck, fuck._

Nearly three hours later and Tobin is lying on her bed against the headboard. She’s just staring at the TV, turned off by Allie before the girl left, and she’s pretty sure her phone is about to die. She thinks she knows how it feels. 

She doesn’t really know how she expected to feel after, but she didn’t think she would feel this _shitty._ She was right when she thought Shirley might have suspected her feelings for the American forward. She was wrong to think, however, that as sure as her feelings for Christen were, they would magically make her break-up easier. They didn’t. At least, not yet. 

Shirley was angry, understandably, but she said she couldn’t fault Tobin for being honest, even if hurt to hear. Tobin and Shirley talked through almost everything that has been weighing down the midfielder for the past few years, even before their relationship began. Her and Shirley were always so alike, they clicked because of their similarities, and that made letting go so much harder for Tobin. She had always felt comfortable with Shirley. Shirley assured her that feeling comfortable was not a bad thing. Tobin knew that, she also knew she needed more, as much as that hurt to admit. The two cried, laughed, sat silently, and went through about every emotion possible during the call. By the end of it, Tobin felt exhausted. She felt utterly drained of any and all emotions. She couldn’t even muster up the excitement of what comes next, she was still hurting over what had happened previously and currently just wanted to sleep and forget that her feelings were so complicated. 

 

The next morning, Tobin woke up and found Allie back in the room and still asleep. She got up and made her way through her morning routine before deciding to make a solo coffee run. She still needed to process the previous night and her friends weren’t exactly conducive of introspection.

Tobin is standing in line and nearing the counter, focused on the details of the chalk-drawing displayed on the specials board, when she hears someone clear their throat behind her. Turning around, Tobin sees Christen standing there and offering her a sheepish smile, obviously figuring Tobin was alone for a reason. 

“Hey,” Christen offers.

Tobin takes in the girl, it was still pretty early in the morning and the light from the café windows were reflecting off of the forward’s already-bright eyes. “Hey,” she replied. 

Before she could get out anything else, it was her turn to order. Tobin also told the barista to put Christen’s order on her bill, waving off the girl behind her when she objected.

After ordering and finding a small table near the window, Tobin took a minute to try and calm her beating heart before asking, “How are you?”

Christen just smiled, almost chuckling at how Tobin was always making sure she was ok, when Tobin was the one to be worried about. “I’m good. I’m really good, Tobin. How are you?”

“I’m better, I think.” Tobin said, looking up at Christen when she replied. “I, uh….I actually called Shirley last night and we, well, we broke up.”

Christen’s smile fell as she genuinely felt for the girl, she knew what Shirley meant to Tobin and she knew the girl would never handle a relationship ending easily, even if she also knew Tobin did had feelings for her. Christen reached across the table and placed her hand on top of Tobin’s in comfort. “I’m so sorry, Tobin. I know it probably feels weird to hear this from me, but I know how much she meant to you and how much you cared for her. I really am sorry.”

Tobin just offered Christen a small smile before looking down at their connected hands. _This was it_ , she thought. She had fallen asleep utterly broken up about how she hurt Shirley and how she had not been honest with those around her for so long, but this right here, this simple feeling of having Christen hold her hand and be legitimately sympathetic, even when it was about another girl, this is why Tobin had to finally end things. This is why she had to make a decision and risk hurting one of her closest friends, because this girl, _right here,_ was everything and more. Being with Christen, actually being with her for real, was going to be like nothing Tobin had ever known or experienced, and she was so ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the support with this story which started as a spontaneous reaction to the Now, Now song. I am going to continue this for a few more chapters (probably four or five more) and see what happens. Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two try and take things slow but it's hard when they have had feelings for so long...basically a really soft interaction.

_But I’ve got it bad, yeah, I’m not sleeping…_

Once they made it back to the hotel, Christen offered Tobin a small smile before letting go of the other girl’s hand. They then went back to their respective rooms to figure out the rest of their off day. As Christen gets back to her room, she notices Ashlyn isn’t there. She drops her keys and wallet off on the TV stand before throwing herself on her bed, thinking back to the past hour she spent with Tobin. 

When she first saw Tobin in the café, she was worried about approaching the girl since they really did not interact much the day before. Christen didn’t want to startle Tobin any more than she already had by springing her breakup and feelings on her within the first few days of camp. 

She was glad she let Tobin know she was there though, because immediately she noticed something different in the midfielder. She looked tired, exhausted, and clearly running on little or restless sleep, but she also seemed calmer. _Maybe she understands now… this was it._. From there on out, it would be her and Tobin, together. Slowly and gently, given their recent break ups, but together. 

Christen keeps staring at the ceiling as she starts to smile thinking about how Tobin connected their hands after she reached out in comfort. The midfielder didn’t let go either, not until they reached the hotel. They didn’t talk much, they didn’t need to. They just sat and enjoyed the early morning sunlight filtering through the windows and reflecting off cars in the street. They drank their coffees and offered shy smiles as their hands conveyed everything they were feeling. Gentle squeezes saying _I’m here_ and soft thumb strokes to say _I’m not going anywhere_. 

Christen’s daze is interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Tobin?” the forward asks as she opens the door and finds the midfielder standing there looking a little wild-eyed, a stark contrast to how she left the other girl not but half an hour ago. 

Immediately Tobin pulls her in and kisses her, hard. Christen’s sound of surprise is quickly cut off as Tobin’s other hand gently thumbs against Christen’s jaw, allowing Christen to relax into the kiss.

Pulling back and breathing deeply mostly from nerves, Tobin rests her head against Christen’s before whispering, “I’m sorry, I’ve just wanted to do that for years and couldn’t wait anymore.”

Realizing she basically just ambushed Christen and kissed her without permission, Tobin reels back further.

“Fuck. Shit. Christen, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to just jump you, I just have really wanted to do that forever and I wanted to do it this morning when the light was shining off your face and you looked so beautiful but then I told you everything and you held my hand and I just was so content to…and we said we would take things slow. Wait, we never actually said that. Well, it felt that way. Oh God, did I make that up…”

Tobin’s rambling is cut off by Christen reaching and steading the other girl’s hand and saying, “Tobin, it’s ok.” She chuckles when she notices Tobin’s eyes are still a little feral, clearly showing the girl’s internal panic at realizing how impulsive her move was. “It’s ok. And for the record, I’ve wanted to do that for a while too.”

Christen swiftly gives Tobin a soft peck before pulling the other girl in and resting her face in the midfielder’s neck. “I’m glad you did that. I don’t think I would ever have had the guts to, since just holding your hand made me nervous,” Christen admits, smiling into Tobin’s shoulder. “And no, you didn’t make anything up. I felt it too.”

She pulls back a little and just smiles at the girl in her arms. The girl that just kissed her. Tobin kissed her. God, she can barely believe it. Everything about that morning had already felt like a dream, this feels even more surreal. 

Tobin, still not entirely convinced she did the right thing in her rash decision to kiss the other girl, just sighs and says, “I’m still sorry, this wasn’t exactly how I thought our first kiss would go. And I’m glad we are on the same page about taking things slow, I want this so badly, I just…I need a little more time so that I can give you all of me, you know.”

Christen just moves her head to Tobin shoulder and nods. “I know. I feel the same way and I’m glad I’m not the only one that has been thinking about our first kiss…”

Before she can say anything else though, there’s a shriek from down the hall. In the frenzy of their kiss and Tobin’s immediate panic, the two girl’s never made it back inside Christen’s room and were just standing half in the doorway with Tobin still sticking out in the hall. 

Christen pushes away from Tobin and turns to see Kelley wide-eyed and skipping toward them while flailing her arms. “Oh my God!” the red-head squeals. “It’s happening! It’s finally happening!”

Christen rolls her eyes, but seeing Kelley’s wide smile and the electric feelings from her kiss with Tobin are too infectious so Christen smiles too. 

She shakes her head a little and chuckles, “Kelley, please.” she says reaching out to rub Tobin’s back, as the other girl is starting to look wild again. “Nothing is happening, not yet. We both need a little time to settle and figure everything out, then things will happen. So, please calm down and stop screaming and running in the hall.”

It’s Kelley’s turn to roll her eyes, “Whatever, Mom. And what do you mean, not yet?!” the girl asks. 

“She means that I just ended things with Shirley so we are both single now and are trying to process and let things chill before we make any decisions.” Tobin answers.

“You what?” Kelley yells again. “Why did no one tell me that?”

“Well, because it happened last night, so….” Tobin trails off, feeling uncomfortable again. “But, seriously, chill. Also, what are you doing here?”

“I came to check on Press and see if she was ok after everything.” Kelley turns to Christen. “I wanted to buy you some coffee and apologize for blabbing about your business and stuff. But, now I see that you are thirsty for something else other than coffee.”

This time Christen reaches out and smacks the girl on her arm. “Kelley,” she warns. “While that’s sweet and all, I already got coffee this morning.”

“Well, then. I guess I am not needed here,” she says while Tobin mutters jokingly, _or wanted._.

Ignoring Tobin, Kelley continues, “I will leave you two to it. But seriously,” she smiles softly, “I am really happy you two are figuring things out. You are two of my best friends and you both deserve the world and I think you can give that to each other….so, be careful and Tobin, don’t hurt this one, she’s sensitive.” Kelley gestures to Christen before turning around and slightly skipping back down the hallway in which she came. 

Tobin just shakes her head as Christen says, “Well, she’s right, I am sensitive.”

They both laugh at that before Tobin wraps Christen in her arms again, asking, “So we should probably figure out how to go from here and everything, but I also need to go check on Allie and Alex because I know Kelley is on her way to tell them everything she just saw.”

Christen just smiles into Tobin, “I have no doubt she’s knocking down doors. And you’re right, we need to talk about things, but I just want to say that I really don’t think I cannot kiss you now I know what’s like.”

Tobin chuckles, “Trust me, I feel the same way. But I trust you, so I think we will be ok. And I know I will probably be the slower one here, so thank you for being patient. Also I realize that I just randomly kissed you in the hallway and that’s not slow, but you know, moving forward.”

“You don’t have to thank me, I want this to go at whatever pace you’re comfortable with. I have already had months to process a lot of things, I know you need the same. I am glad though that we can agree that _this_ , she gestures to their linked bodies and hands, is ok. And this too…” Christen whispers as she leans into Tobin again, kissing the girl gently as Tobin’s hands steady around Christen’s waist. 

“Yeah, that too.” Tobin breathes. 

“Except, maybe not in the hallway.” Christen laughs. 

They finally let go of each other and take a step back, still smiling. “So I’ll probably be forced into hanging with Alex and Allie all day, but later I know Kelley said something about going out to dinner, so I guess I will see you then?” Tobin asks. 

Christen nods her head, “Yeah, I’ll be there.” 

Tobin turns to walk away before Christen grabs her and spins her back in for one last kiss before playfully slapping the other girl’s ass, “See you at dinner, Stud.” 

Christen finally goes back inside her room as she sees Tobin walk away while blushing deeply.

Christen leans against the door and just exhales what feels like years worth of longing. Finally, she has _the girl._

Now, she’s so close to having it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will definitely have another chapter up this weekend and after that it should be about another week or so depending on how long I put off life and actual work. These ending chapters are basically just going to be fluff and the girls' experiences at different points in their relationship. Thanks for reading!!!


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